Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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