I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
