I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I said "one day" and that day is not today
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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