We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
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Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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