He kissed a someone with a penis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
