You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
