just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
