this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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