Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
