i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
porn star boner night. come get it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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