I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
They have beer where we have blood.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
