i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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