I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
