She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
