It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
