Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
