I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
