Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who died my cat blue again?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
