Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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