this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
