direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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