just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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