Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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