I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
