two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
