How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
