What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
