coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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