Me. At least after what I've been through.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize