I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize