the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
