i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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