I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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