do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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