just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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