been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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