i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
