She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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