My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
