Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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