So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
