I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's blow job season.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
