My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
