You're my little dorito
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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