She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
