just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
