Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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