so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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