So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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