So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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