Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
this just has baby written all over it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
