i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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