I puked a lego.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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