This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
