I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
