You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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