I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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