I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
