I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
