you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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