Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
