I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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