cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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