Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
