I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
